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How to give a sensual massage

Updated: Dec 7, 2021

Visiting a professional masseur is a great way to relax and enjoy a sensual massage, but you can also give and receive a massage with your partner. It's a great way to show you care about each other.

To give a good massage take practice but there are also quite a few simple things you can do to enhance any massages you do.

Make the time

It's best to plan ahead and have plenty of time and ensure there will be no disturbances. It's as much about the journey as the destination you can't rush if you want to get the most out of a sensual massage. Allow some time to sit a talk before is nice, perhaps a glass of wine, but not too much. Likewise, ensure you don't have anything to do after. There is no point having a nice sensual massage and then ruining it by having to dash off to work immediately after.

Set the scene

Creating the right environment for a sensual massage makes all the difference and ensure the lucky person receiving the massage feels comfortable before you even start. It helps the masseur real and be in the right frame of mind.


Dark and candlelit is probably the most popular option, especially when it's not too warm outside. Flickering candles and soft lighting really add to the mood. If it's warm and sunny though, and you have somewhere private, a sensual massage with the warm sun on your body is wonderful too.


In both cases, it is important to be warm. Cold muscles don't respond well to massage and it can feel uncomfortable. Having oil on your body disputes heat so you should ideally be a couple of degrees warmer than your usual room temperature.


Don't forget all the senses, and a scent is important too. There are many different scented candles on the market if looking for something soft and light. Joss sticks are great and can give a heady aroma, contouring up images of faraway places. Lastly burning essential oils or even adding a small amount to your massage oil can be nice, but do be aware of allergies if doing that.


Finally, a relaxing soundtrack helps, I have published my favourites in the link below, but there are plenty to choose from, or you may prefer silence instead.

Who is it for?

This might seem a strange question, but massaging and being massaged is not the same as giving and receiving. There is nothing wrong with enjoying giving a sensual massage and it can be a mutually enjoyable experience.

To give a really good massage it is best to focus on their needs, not yours. In particular, the masseur may want to 'give' the receiver an orgasm, the receiver sense this and can lead them to feel they need to perform for the masseur which in many cases makes it less enjoyable and harder to reach a good orgasm.

The Magic Trick

I'm often asked by men in particular, what is the magic trick or special technique I use when giving a sensual massage. The answer is there isn't one, everyone is different and so what works for one person may not work for another. In addition to all of the above, the two most important pieces of advice I always give are:

Take your time

Arousal is as much about fantasy, anticipation and expectation as it is touch. Take your time to relax your recipient before starting to arouse. Then initially build arousal very slowly. Take someone to the edge of orgasm and then back again before going all the way, it will make the orgasms more powerful when they do come.

Less is more

There are times for firm and frantic but less is often more. Lots of teasing fingertips in sensitive parts of the body. Before getting to the obvious, try neck, back of knees, fingers & toes, the list is endless and differs from person to person. Tease and delight them before moving on. Slow gentle and lingering touch can be just as exciting.

What will I need?

While a massage can be given on a bed, a massage table is always better for the giver and receiver. A bed is typically too soft so as you put pressure on the receiver sinks into the bed which is uncomfortable. With a bed, it's also hard to work effectively on all parts of the body. For the masseur it can also be quite uncomfortable and difficult to give a massage on a bed, that's why most professional masseurs us a table.

If you don't have a table I would recommend massaging on the floor with a mat or duvet, while it can still be difficult the floor to provide a solid base.

Which Oils should i use?

As a rule, I would recommend using unscented base oils such as grape-seed, almond or coconut. Always check if either of you has any allergies to the oils you are using first though.

The oil flows better and feels best when warmed, but always check on your own skin first and never pour directly onto the receiver when hot.

What else?

With a sensual massage, it's always nice to add a few different sensations. You'll probably have lots of things around your home that can be used. Feathers can be nice but best at the start before the oil goes on. Some rope can feel nice dragged across the body and handy if you want to introduce a little bondage too. You can experiment with temperatures, too, put something metallic or even a pebble in the fridge before you start. Be careful with ice as it can burn when in dirt contact with the skin.



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